Ask Carpetblogger: Whose Pole Is Bigger? Azeris’ or Gulf Arabs’? via Carpetblogger
For far too long, this has been a matter of speculation for us personally. But thankfully, the Wall Street Journal has done the legwork for us and determined that, at least for now, the Azeris have the biggest pole.DUBAI -- David Chambers builds the tallest flagpoles in the world. His current
client wants him to stop. This month, Mr. Chambers is erecting a pole in
the wind-swept Azerbaijan capital of Baku. At almost 532 feet, it will be the
tallest flagpole on record. Azerbaijani officials, eager to savor the feat, have
asked him to hold off building a taller pole for a year, he said.
Clients "always tell us they want this to be the last record," Mr.
Chambers said from his small office in Dubai's sprawling port. "But they know,
in general, that we're on a roll, and we're gonna...
Because there are so many easy targets, Out of respect for the rich culture of Azerbaijan, I usual try to ignore ridiculous new stories coming out of Baku. But like the asshole hotel, once they hit outlets like FARK, I feel it's my duty to weigh in and add a bit of cultural context.
The local media recently busted the Camel Toe, a fine drinking establishment in Baku that I have used to illustrate so many anecdotes that Carpetblog (proudly) comes up in google searches of the term. Apparently, the wizards at the state-controlled Today.AZ just discovered what the name means. (Don't know? Wikipedia does).
The retardedness of taking issue with the name of a bar that has been there for AT LEAST five years is exceeded only by the retardedness of the article itself. Because I don't trust... 
In typically long-winded piece, Moscow's The Exile gets Baku mostly right. There's also a fine photo essay here from which all these photos come.
Carpetblog does take issue, however, with a few points, in descending order of importance.Sit on a bench along the posh shopping boulevards in downtown Baku and
you’ll soon spot the only two species of western Baku expat: the
well-heeled consultant talking oil jargon to his Blackberry, and the
Cockney-accented offshore rig worker. Both gather in the same British
pubs at night to drink ale, watch rugby, and trade stories about the
Russified Shia whores who are as much a part of the oil economy as BP.
It is arguably the most depressing expat scene in the world. Even the
Riyadh compound rats have clear skies and breathable air.Most... 
Seriously, I was trying to ignore this ridiculous hotel proposal for Baku, but it turns out I can't. The Azeris are challenging the Gulf Arabs for the "More Money Than Taste Award."
It looks like a giant asshole to me, which is screamingly...... 
Because this is the best picture I ever will take, I will use it again, for the third year in a row, to wish everyone in Carpetblog land a Merry Christmas, Iyi Bayramlar, з новим роким or mutlu yıllar!... 
Today, Carpetblog brings a new and innovative method of measuring improvements in Kabul's security situation by using the only yardstick that matters: one's ability to freely purchase carpets.
We proudly present the Carpetblog Kabul Security Assessment.
If you remember last year, carpetshopping was conducted in one Chicken Street shop during Ramadan, under the watchful eye of an armed guard who hadn't eaten all day. Yoinks! Talk about tense.
For this year's carpetbinge, we had the run of Chicken Street, but it may be the case that we were more confident and committed to the project, rather than a noticeable improvement in security.
Assessment: A wash.
Fewer guns than last year
Last year, seven small carpets were purchased. This year, three medium sized ones, plus a bunch of suzanis... 
No one can blame you if, while visiting Baku, you conclude that nearly every building with a roof and four walls is a Ho House.
But, seriously, it takes some balls to advertise it on the baggage claim at the Baku Airport. Especially if you're the...... 
Carpetblogger heads to Baku this weekend. A visit to Ruslan for some Carpettime is on the agenda, as is some Georgian and PCS.
Don't hate me.
It's been a while since I've posted this photo... 
If a Soviet-era bureaucrat is impressed by your level of corruption and incompetence, you are champion!Here's a really long interview from Trend (Russia) with the President of the Federal National and Cultural Autonomy of
Russia's Azerbaijanis, Soyun Sadikhov. In 1981 Sadikhov began
working in Moscow construction organization of Glavmosremont. From 1986 to 2000
he was deputy head of Mosrekonstruktsia. Now, Sadikhov consults for Russian and foreign construction companies.
I've edited for length and emphasized key findings. Photos from Day.Az
Regarding the tragedy of the collapsed building in Baku, in your opinion, what
is the cause for the incident?
- ....When a construction boom began in Baku, when I saw the
process of this construction and the specialists engaged in this, I... 
AFP photo
This is tragic. And officials are shocked! shocked! that building violations might have been the cause.
ANS television quoted a senior emergency ministry official, Kamil
Bagirov, as saying that a preliminary investigation had found that
violations of safety rules were behind the collapse.
Azerbaijani prosecutor general Zakir Garalov told reporters that he had
"issued an order to initiate a criminal case over this incident based
on violations of safety rules during construction of the building." Anyone who claims to be surprised that such a thing could happen must have their head firmly stuck in their ass.
I frequently complain about Turkish construction techniques (I have never seen a door hung properly nor a flush wall in this country), but everything is relative. I'd... 
Turn right at the sheep.
No, no, no, not this sheep. The one by the gas station, not by the tire repair.
When you see THESE sheep, you... 
"I'm not sure it's such a good thing, living in a boom town. It's basically a high-end carny atmosphere."
The
character who spoke this line in a short story by Thomas
McGuane called "Gallatin Canyon" was speaking about Four Corners,
Montana. But I think the quote applies to Baku as well.
I have been thinking a lot about boomtowns lately. Everyone should live in one at least once in their lives to truly understand the pros and cons of rule of law, corruption, power politics and filth. All this irrelevant thinking was inspired by my latest television obsession: Deadwood (Hart to Hart was so totally last week. Move on, alright?).
If you have ever lived in a boomtown, and/or like to use the word "cocksucker" as a noun, verb or adjective, I highly...