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There's nothing better than a hamam on a cold Istanbul day after a long flight. Bad Zimbabwe juju can only be purged using the most aggressive of techniques. Things wrong with the world seem righter after several layers of skin are  removed by a woman with enormous breasts wielding a kese made of steel wool. Our recent visit to our local hamam provided the best - and most thorough -- scrub we've ever had.Carpetblogger's Preferred Hamam (TM) is not for the squeamish. A local joint, it's a little rough around the edges and has lots of smells, not all of them good. As we entered a Hamam Böceği (Hamam Bug)* scampered across the toilet area. Carpetblog's Kathmandu Correspondent had a cyst removed from her back with a melonballer after her last visit, but there's no more evidence linking it...

Since I half-heartedly whacked at that bees nest called "Poisoned Peter Pan" I feel obligated to pass on information I've learned in the meantime (only because when you google "salmonella peter pan supply and demand" Carpetblog comes up second. Given my growing influence on this topic, I hardly want to jeopardize my credibility). The story, and my astute analysis of it, piqued the interest of "Big Media" (and by "Big Media" I mean "reporter friend I drink beer with") and he did what "Big Media" does, which is go talk to people and then make shit up. I just save time and omit the first step. After finding a jar of recalled Peter Pan in a different supermarket, he tracked down the distributor. As it turns out the distributor was...

Two days ago, I decided that Istanbul was the perfect city. How did I arrive at this conclusion? I found a jar of American peanut butter at my local mini-supermarket. You know how Australians get with that vile vegemite? That's how Americans are with peanut butter. American peanut butter is the holy grail. It's the one product I ask visitors to bring with them from home. I always go to Costco before returning to Crapistan and get a supersize jar of Skippy chunky. It's as valuable as gold. Samaya the Azeri cleaning lady (and by "cleaning lady" I mean "lady who comes and sleeps on the couch for four hours twice a week") one time threw away an entire jar, clearly not recognizing its value (truthfully, the blame lies with the Producer for leaving it sitting out next to...